"Sex Lives of Sonic Youth."

It's laughable that anybody would ever end up talking about the sex life of the members of the defunct gallery-going yoga-mat collective Sonic Youth. There was nonetheless a keen debate going on at Brooklyn Vegan for a while a few months back, when the news broke about' Thirstin's thrustin' around behind his erstwhile missus's back.

"All in all I quite enjoyed the ruckus," as Donald Rumsfeld would say, because there had been such a pious overrating afforded to this band, woefully inappropriate. I should say, in the interests of journalistic integrity, that when I was sixteen I had Bad Moon Rising and Sister and EVOL on vinyl, and I once knew a man who purported to have bought a copy of Washing Machine on CD. He was a Frenchman.

I also have a copy of the Death Valley '69 Blast First twelve-inch for sale if anybody wants it. Scarcely ever been played.

Imagine though, is there a more sexless band than this tenacious crew of cranial pillocks? (Kraftwerk perhaps, but aren't even they rather raunchy, in comparison with SY, with their long-distance cycling outfits?) They had a record, Confusion Is Sex, which is actually known generally throughout the world as Sex Is Confusing For Sonic Youth. Subtitled: We Can't Get Laid Backstage at Our Own Show at Budokan. 

You'd have to look at Lee and Steev especially and laugh out loud at the thought. These pilgrim fathers couldn't get felt up in a knocking shop! These are the men who eventually got dumped by their Japanese groupies for being "possessive" and "needy" and "weird"! These are the only septuagenarians who still "dig" the Beat writers!

Anyway you should all for a laugh look up the page
[ http://www.brooklynvegan.com/archives/2013/04/kim_gordon_tell.html ] if only because it really cracks the institutionalized mass-delusions about this group. Do you recall that one good record they had, the Master-Dik twelve-inch, which the inner sleeve reprinted a letter to Maximum RocknRoll from Ben Weasel about how bad the group was? Well Thurston should put this whole Brooklyn Vegan debate on his next shitty album as a deluxe screen-printed signed HC booklet.