"Imaginary Fight." Or, "A Warren Is Not a Warzone."

Imagine a fight between Pete Seeger and Gary Snyder.

As my wife would say, "Can you imagine it?"

They wouldn't want to do it, either one of them. They'd try to wriggle out of it. But when we had impressed upon them that they really had to do it, it would be downright lowdown, cruel and vicious. 

It'd be the meanest most ungraceful eye-gougingest half-alligator half-horse 100% rooster-strutting diamond-back down-and-out warpig black-ops folk-fest warzone smallpox smackdown poetry slam you ever did saw.

Let me pause from this joke to remark how ardently sick I'm getting of autocorrect. You have to be so vigilant against autocorrect! It changed "slampig" into "smallpox" –– did it so persistently that I kept "smallpox" in the sentence and abandoned the "slampig" outright, even though it didn't make a lick of sense –– and changed "warzone" into "warren".

All right, slampig is perhaps peculiar for the "mainstream media" as Sarah Palin, echoing Mykel Board, used to call it. But "warzone" is as conventional a usage as it comes. Goodness gracious and great gravy, I'm sorry to report that there are more warzones [autocorrect: "wariness"] around these days than there are warrens!

"Make warrens, not warzones."

A warren is not a warzone –– and a house is not a home. 

Now: who would win in that fight do you suppose?

(Answer's simple –– it's Gary Snyder.)